The poverty that is loneliness.

I was lucky enough to participate in a poverty simulation recently. For those of you who are unfamiliar, a poverty simulation- much like its name- is a role playing activity that helps individuals explore the complexities of an impoverished lifestyle. It's a team building activity that guides you through life scenarios that help you better understand the harsh realities of decision making under the stress of poverty. It's a very in depth exploration, particularly for those who aren't regularly impacted by or involved with poverty.

Each person in the simulation was assigned a role within a family. I was the only single person household assigned in the simulation. The irony! The facilitator handed me a large packet that read Single Family Household. I literally thought to myself, "It totally figures." I just laughed and decided that I'd try to embrace it and make the most of it, like I've tried to do with everything else in my life.

The simulation took place in a series of four- 15 minute intervals; each interval symbolizing one week of a four week month. My name was Vince. Vince was an 85-year-old widower, who was living on social security. As I looked through my information packet, I quickly began mapping out my plan like your typical type-A individual would. It looked something like this:

1. Hit the bank up first. Cash the SSI check and pay the pre-planned burial fee.
2. Head to buy bus vouchers to get around. Would need a minimum of 6, one to and from each trip left.
3. Swing by the grocery store for monthly food and meds.
4. Stop by and pay the utilities.
5. Pay the mortgage.

I completed items 1-4 on my list during the first week. The second week the mortgage company was closed, so I sat at home that week. I got out to pay my mortgage during the third week. Someone tried to rob me at gunpoint. I told the robber that I was 85 and that I wished he'd shoot me. Needless to say, he didn't shoot me or rob me. I sat at home the remainder of the third and fourth weeks. 

I was one of very few who finished the simulation with all of my bills paid and some money left over. I spent the majority of the simulation sitting in my chair watching all of the activity around me. This was very reminiscent of my life up until recently; the silent observer- thoughtfully engaged in watching what's happening, but never an active participant. At first, I was pissed that I really wasn't getting the opportunity to participate. Then, I realized that I'd received an even greater gift. 

Source: https://500px.com/photo/2487208/-ballons-by-michal-giedrojc

I came to two major realizations. First, this experience really affirmed what I've already been exploring; which is the importance of relationships and connecting with other people. In the simulation, I played by the rules. I was an example of someone who's made safe decisions. I'd made all of the appropriate life choices that allowed me to find stability; but this stability was at the cost of really living. I was missing out completely on living the remainder of my hypothetical life. My problems were very small; and yet I still felt like I wished I could be out with everyone else who was struggling. I had no sense of community. There was a moment where I realized how I could've ended up in my real life had I not made the challenging decisions that I'd made over the last year. This was so powerful. We often forget through our daily lives how important connecting with one another is. It really brought home what we've been talking about in the blog. You can play by all the rules; but without feeling a sense of  community, what do we really have?

Second, I observed something very enlightening in those who participated in the simulation. There was a sense of excitement as they interacted with one another. They quickly and uninhibitedly shared their situations or their "stories". There was an even greater sense of accomplishment when they reconnected later in the "month". They'd explain to each other what they were or were't able to accomplish and where they found the best resources. In not participating, I realized that it was almost instinctual for everyone to share their stories. In this pretend scenario, judgement didn't exist! People were so much more uninhibited in sharing themselves when they were free from the fear of being judged. This was so beautiful to me. 

As you start your week, I encourage you to let go of both your judgments of others and the fear of being judged yourself. What does this bring you? 

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